I'm back from London. I arrived home Thursday night. My trip was great. I did some work with Giles again and we shot some special pictures that he will offer to FHM and Maxim magazine. He is preparing a big project for these kinds of magazines. If I understand him right it will be for a special issue with worldwide circulation featuring erotic models.
But I changed my mind about appearing in it because it will be an issue which will also feature porn stars. Of course,
I do not want to present myself as a porn star becaus I'm not one.
So I will not be appearing in this issue. That will be better for me anyway. In the U. K. I want to build a completely new profile for myself. I know I'm choosing the harder way for myself, but still, I'm thinking about the future, and I know that one day this decision will bring me much more. We are starting to work to build my profile in the U. K. as more of a Glamour model. That is great because it will open more doors for me and get me more serious and better work. I really believe my decision is not wrong. As a porn star, I could achieve immediate circulation... but why? Why pretend to be something that I'm not and destroy my public image in the process? Anyway, I hope that you will see my pictures in FHM or Maxim soon. He will offer my pictures to them separately
from other models, so cross your fingers for me. :-)
Giles is so nice to me and I really like him a lot. He is a very open person and very sweet.
His girlfriend is a clothes designer and is also very, very nice and I love her. She was with me on the day of the shooting, so we had a chance to spend the whole day together. Giles hired a great location for the shoot, but it was a little bit spooky because the owner of this house collected some very "interesting" art.
When I first arrived at the house, the first thing I noticed were the pictures on the wall. one of the pictures was a painting of Elvis Presley. The second one I saw was some kind of devil. Both of them had been painted by a serial killer in London. :-(( It was so spooky, especially when I looked at the picture with the crazy devil. :-(( I cannot imagine having pictures like this in my house. :-)
The darkest room in the house was the bedroom, and everywhere on the walls was crazy fine art. It was so scary.
:-(( I couldn't wait to leave this house because after only one day in it I began to feel very negative.
I'll never forget the pictures that were in the kitchen, and I asked Giles who shot these pictures and if they were real. In the pictures was a dead boy sitting in a chair, and he had a very big scar on his stomach, like somebody had ripped him open. The picture was in black and white. I asked Giles who shot this picture and he told me it was some photographer in the USA who shoots just dead people.
Everything is legal and he's done all the paperwork, getting the releases, etc. so he could do it. He is printing some books with his "art." I will show you some of the pictures, so you can have an idea of what I'm talking about. It is really terrible and I hope that you will agree with me. I cannot believe the paradoxes of this world! In the USA, it's a problem to go on some beaches in a small bikini; you can't drink alcohol in a public place without a permit, and you can't smoke indoors. I cannot believe this. Yet, too many people right now want to boycott the porn industry,and even nudity in art, because to them it is not "moral." But if somebody takes pictures of dead people and calls this "art," if somebody prints these horrible pictures in a book, then nobody cares and it is moral?
I'm really not a Puritan. I'm a very democratic person. I can understand, for example, if somebody is covering a war and shoots pictures of the dead and makes that part of his reporting. But I can really never understand if someone is shooting pictures of dead people and trying to make "art" with this. To me, this is immoral.
But I changed my mind about appearing in it because it will be an issue which will also feature porn stars. Of course,
I do not want to present myself as a porn star becaus I'm not one.
So I will not be appearing in this issue. That will be better for me anyway. In the U. K. I want to build a completely new profile for myself. I know I'm choosing the harder way for myself, but still, I'm thinking about the future, and I know that one day this decision will bring me much more. We are starting to work to build my profile in the U. K. as more of a Glamour model. That is great because it will open more doors for me and get me more serious and better work. I really believe my decision is not wrong. As a porn star, I could achieve immediate circulation... but why? Why pretend to be something that I'm not and destroy my public image in the process? Anyway, I hope that you will see my pictures in FHM or Maxim soon. He will offer my pictures to them separately
from other models, so cross your fingers for me. :-)
Giles is so nice to me and I really like him a lot. He is a very open person and very sweet.
His girlfriend is a clothes designer and is also very, very nice and I love her. She was with me on the day of the shooting, so we had a chance to spend the whole day together. Giles hired a great location for the shoot, but it was a little bit spooky because the owner of this house collected some very "interesting" art.
When I first arrived at the house, the first thing I noticed were the pictures on the wall. one of the pictures was a painting of Elvis Presley. The second one I saw was some kind of devil. Both of them had been painted by a serial killer in London. :-(( It was so spooky, especially when I looked at the picture with the crazy devil. :-(( I cannot imagine having pictures like this in my house. :-)
The darkest room in the house was the bedroom, and everywhere on the walls was crazy fine art. It was so scary.
:-(( I couldn't wait to leave this house because after only one day in it I began to feel very negative.
I'll never forget the pictures that were in the kitchen, and I asked Giles who shot these pictures and if they were real. In the pictures was a dead boy sitting in a chair, and he had a very big scar on his stomach, like somebody had ripped him open. The picture was in black and white. I asked Giles who shot this picture and he told me it was some photographer in the USA who shoots just dead people.
Everything is legal and he's done all the paperwork, getting the releases, etc. so he could do it. He is printing some books with his "art." I will show you some of the pictures, so you can have an idea of what I'm talking about. It is really terrible and I hope that you will agree with me. I cannot believe the paradoxes of this world! In the USA, it's a problem to go on some beaches in a small bikini; you can't drink alcohol in a public place without a permit, and you can't smoke indoors. I cannot believe this. Yet, too many people right now want to boycott the porn industry,and even nudity in art, because to them it is not "moral." But if somebody takes pictures of dead people and calls this "art," if somebody prints these horrible pictures in a book, then nobody cares and it is moral?
I'm really not a Puritan. I'm a very democratic person. I can understand, for example, if somebody is covering a war and shoots pictures of the dead and makes that part of his reporting. But I can really never understand if someone is shooting pictures of dead people and trying to make "art" with this. To me, this is immoral.
